The Peanut and the Va-J-J

Never thought I'd be blogging about this one but...it is a memory none-the-less. One that she'll hate me for telling when she's a teenager I'm sure...

The dreaded day had come. Not that I hadn't put thought into it, or expected it would arise at some point, at least when Big Sis started school. I will admit I had been pondering the topic for over a year....well, ever since Oprah brought Dr. Laura Berman on her show (you know, the sex therapist). I had even pestered my closest friends asking "what is your opinion." The topic I'm referring to is giving the body parts a "title" to your child. Saying the "real" names of the male/female parts. To me it was awkward and sort of taboo to actually use the real words.

I think a lot of the level of comfort individuals have with the "real names" stems from what their parents taught them as a child. I grew up with one sister and no brother. In fact, out of 9 cousins (including us), 7 are girls and 2 are boys. My sister and I were taught the word "pee-pee" and "privacy" for our parts. It sort of included any type of part, regardless of gender. I don't remember wondering what the boy parts were called as a young child because, I didn't have any brothers so the topic just never came up. So, it was quite natural for my husband and I to also teach the girls the term "pee pee" and "pee pee area" (Big Sis has always decided to just shorten it to just "area.") I didn't figure she needed more information than that.  At least not while she's young and not even school-aged yet.

When I went to pick Big Sis up from her sitter yesterday to take her to preschool, Miss "D" pulled me to the side and said "I need to prepare you in case it comes up. One of the other kids saw me changing a diaper and asked me 'what is that squiggly thing he has?' I responded with the real word. Big Sis was right there, taking it all in."

I gulped. I knew that the wheels were now turning in Big Sis' head and I'd better be ready to respond. It is time she learned the proper words anyhow. I figure if Dr. Berman says it is best to teach kids the actual vocabulary, she must have studied the topic long and hard and therefore must be right. Besides, everything you see on Oprah must be true....right???

Fortunately yesterday came and went without a single mention of the incident. As I went to bed last night I thought, "Whew, surely she has at this point forgotten about the entire incident...or maybe she didn't even hear Miss D respond."

Today we were driving to Nutcracker practice, singing choir songs in the van and watching the rain. Big Sis, out of pretty much nowhere says, while chuckling "Mama did you know that Emma wishes she had a peanut just like AJ?"

I turned the choir music way down, trying to keep my hands on the wheel and think straight. My inner voice is going a mile a minute...

So she had the right concept but the wrong word. Now I have to tell her the real word. You can do this, you're an adult. If Miss D uses the real word, you can too. She is a big girl now...if she's asking, she's ready for the information. God won't give you anything you can't handle. Besides, you can't go on letting her think it is called a Peanut.

I cleared my throat...."Wow, that's interesting. Well, Emma doesn't have one because she's a girl. ALL boys and daddies have one but it isn't a peanut, it is a ____." (I still can't even type the real word.)

She sat quietly. I wanted to be prepared, calm, and give her just enough information but not too much.

Well goodness if she now knows the male part she should certainly know the word for a female body part too...so she at least can refer to hers properly. You can do it...we're almost done with this conversation. It's just like ripping off a Bandaid...this is part of being a parent.


I continued, "And Honey, your part is not REALLY called a Pee-Pee either. All girls and mommies have a Va-J-J."  Yes, that's right...I chickened out and in true Oprah fashion taught her the word Va-J-J!  I just couldn't bring myself to tell her the real word for the female part. But I will be sure to correct this at some point. Someday. Maybe. Or my fingers are crossed she forgets the entire conversation took place. Wishful thinking, I'm sure.